It’s been a minute since I have touched a keyboard! I mean my computer CRASHED…I meaaaaaaannnnnnnnnn I know it was a computer from 2010 but I feel like IT OWED ME! Well anywhoo, that son of a “B” said, “nahhhhh I ain’t gone do it boo”! In that moment I didn’t have many options. I would use my son’s computer for a few days but it just didn’t feel right! I attempted blogging on my phone and I am just not about that life unless necessary. It was in that moment I diverted back to the basics…MY JOURNAL! I can openly admit I forgot how amazing it felt to allow the pen to glide across that paper. I would from time to time write the occasional “I hate the world, finances, my single ass, this motherhood is hard as hell, oh LAWD that scale, my acne, the world is seems like it is coming to an end, and why is my president orange” entry but that just started making my head hurt and pushed me into that familiar zone of depression! Woah! Woah! I don’t have time for that foolery! I had a come to Jesus, Joseph, Mary, and the little Lamb meeting with myself!
After self evaluating and regrouping, I knew it was best that I begin to write about all aspects of my life. I know realistically that my life isn’t a bag of bricks but I must admit subconsciously if you keep scrolling on social media you begin unconsciously comparing where you are in life to whoever and whatever. (yeah chiiiilllleeeee you do it too…that’s why you post whatever you post…good or bad…FACE IT…We all have a craving for attention). After a a couple of journal sessions with myself life started making sense. I realized I couldn’t keep walking through life allowing my thoughts to swarm inside my brain like a colony of bees and I definitely couldn’t keep searching for validation through random strangers and people I personally know. Now when I say validation, please don’t get it mixed up with the “oh like me” epidemic some are living their lives for. My validation is a little different. I have a calling on my life that requires me to help people. Now in that calling I use social media as my platform so ultimately my validation comes from people that I am able to help. That validation for me is recognized when I am able to identify that I am helping or they in some shape of form have ways of letting me know they are progressing. It in some ways is overwhelming and makes me want to yell at my higher being for placing me in a position…I DID NOT ASK FOR!
However, as the weeks have passed in 2017, I would do my normal thing social media scroll….hit like….scroll… roll my eyes and ask “why am I following you and why are you following me…
CLICKS UNFOLLOW! Then I found myself dissecting people’s post. I mean I have a true love for psychology so I often dissect layers of people…the look in their eyes beyond the smile and the randomness of their post. The “I POST WHAT I POST BECAUSE I PAY MY BILLS”…”I AM PETTY BECAUSE THAT’S ME” (Lawd I will be so glad when y’all let this petty movement die you are so much better than that…I digress) …the infamous post degrading other people to make themselves feel better, the post about losing love ones and no one being sympathetic enough and the infamous “I DON’T POST MY REAL LIFE ON HERE”. I found myself chuckling because at some point I have been in all of those areas. It wasn’t until I was real with myself that I was able to see that social media is a digital journal for many people. It is a playground for people to make jokes and be the butt of the joke! It is a digital journal where some are very uplifting and others are plain out miserable!
Through these evaluations it became obvious…PEOPLE NEED TO JOURNAL ON PAPER ( and a feew could stand to visit a therapist- I will be running back to mine with no hesitation)! There have been several days that I have wanted to inbox people and say “Hey, I know you are masking your pain and you simply need someone who will listen or just write it on paper” but I simply know how that plays out! I have been infamous for cursing close friends and acquaintances out for butting into my visual meltdowns that I at some point was proud of! I decided to take a different approach! I now have opted to display what it looks like to journal. I host journal sessions for women because the truth remains, we are emotional creatures who need outlets that are bigger than social media!’ My next FREE session tickets are available here—> WRITE IT OUT JOURNAL SESSION
It is my ultimate goal and vision to introduce woman daily to a world that allows them to WRITE IT OUT without a facade! May you be introduced to your pen and allow the passion of your thoughts to grace whatever pages effortlessly!
A. Renee is the owner and founder of Journal Jot and Jive! She has been an avid journal user since age 7. She is dedicated to introducing and showing women ways to journal creatively and unapologetically! You can follow her on IG @journaljotandjive